Tesla is Trash. Have People Finally Caught Onto the Scam of Elon Musk?
Just like Trump, everything Elon creates is gold-plated poo.
TESLA is the most-dangerous car brand in the United States, based on data from the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, a division of the U.S. Department of Transportation.
And SURPRISE! Elon Musk has gutted the NHTSA, the very federal agency that regulates automobile safety! Yes, it’s a big fat “win” for MAGA voters who want to “own the libs,” even at the expense of the lives of their families and friends.
In reality, Elon Musk and Donald Trump are as natural and inevitable pairing as wine and cheese…a glass of cheap wine that has sat out for a few weeks and a chunk of moldy cheese that isn’t supposed to be moldy, but wine and cheese nevertheless.
We’ve all seen the photos; we know that Donald Trump sits on gold-plated toilets in his opulent homes and his private jet.
It’s an apt metaphor for his empire—everything Trump has offered to the world is effectively a gilded one-way poop chute. Let’s do a quick inventory:
Trump Taj Mahal—Bankrupt.
Trump Plaza Hotel and Casino—Bankrupt.
Plaza Hotel—Bankrupt.
Trump Castle Hotel and Casino—Bankrupt.
Trump Hotels and Casino Resorts—Bankrupt.
Trump Entertainment Resorts—Bankrupt.
Trump University—A scam that put itself out of business, followed by a court-ordered $25 million settlement to former students who realized at some point that they had been duped. (One must wonder how many of these former Trump U students voted for him in 2024—I fear the share is probably quite high.)
Trump Airlines—Bankrupt. But unlike airplanes under Trump’s FAA oversight and unlike Elon Musk’s rocket ships, at least they didn’t fall out of the sky and sprinkle golden showers of toilet water across residential communities?
Trump Ocean Resort Baja Mexico—Project aborted before it was even built—yet, he effectively scammed investors’ money. (Imagine people visiting a Trump property in MEXICO…?!?!)
The list of Trump’s business failures is so long that I probably lost you after the first few, huh?
Welp. Listen. We all know that the leader of the free world in which everyone is cool with LGBT people being deleted from existence, women bleeding to death because laws prohibit their necessary medical care (all thanks to “pro-life” Catholic Supreme Court justices appointed by Trump) and public-school teachers being threatened and punished for violating policies for hanging dystopian signs that read “Everyone is Welcome Here” and “Everyone is Equal” destroys everything he is put in charge of, human, business (see above), nation, or otherwise.
BUT! But! But!! NO ONE SEEMS TO KNOW THAT ELON MUSK DOES THE SAME.
It’s pretty baffling to me. It seems like this might have changed over the past week, but despite Elon Musk making the most dangerous cars on the road, which explode while being made in factories, and which are recalled pretty much constantly for functional and safety problems, just about everyone always repeats what everyone else repeats: …but he’s a GENIUS!
No, he’s not.
That’s what a lot of other people argue, with good evidence. But the news media absolutely always, always, always without fail tell us that Elon Musk is a supermegagenius, goddammit, because he has so much money and so much money plus ownership of technology companies equals genius, goddammit. Haven’t you ever heard of Thomas Edison?
Many of us now know, too, that Thomas Edison was, er, well, he was kind of a big fraudulent thief who bought legitimate inventors’ patents and profited from them. Not exactly the brainiac genius we were taught about in school. (Which, yes, predicts how Elon Musk will be taught to future students in public schools. Alas.)
Ironically, a true visionary genius named Nikola Tesla, namesake of Elon Musk’s shitty exploding-car company, once worked for was exploited by Thomas Edison and eventually told Edison to bugger off.
What Genius Is This?
Promise: “We’re going to Mars!”
Reality: Cool-looking rocket lift off, go boom while still in Earth’s atmosphere.
Verdict: TBD, but it’s looking like a scam to steal money that should be going to NASA.
Promise: “Self-driving electric cars of the future!”
Reality: World’s ugliest truck gets stuck in an inch of snow, shatters on impact, kills hundreds of passengers and counting, has to be sold by desperate conmen, raffled off by desperate sycophants, and becomes the defining icon of modern-day Nazism, tank stock, and demonstrate that the company’s board is a sham Musk-loyalist board that does nothing to uphold fiduciary responsibilities to shareholders.
Verdict: You’re an absolute idiot if you buy a Tesla or Tesla stock…but the American electorate has proved time and again that its majority is absolute idiots, so Tesla could recover and claim more self-made victims of cultish tribalism just to “own the libs.”
Promise: “I will restore free speech to Twitter!”
Reality: Fire 80% of staff who make Twitter functional, launch worst rebranding campaign in history, court and reward Nazis, including self (of course), promote and privilege Russian and Chinese anti-U.S. propaganda, weaponize into pro-Trump propaganda media network, destroy valuation, and yet somehow remain the preferred online hangout spot for journalists who consider themselves legitimate and don’t question why they are hanging out at a white-supremacist, fascist- and disinformation/propaganda media network. Hmm.
Verdict: Musk made Twitter, already a hotspot for horrible Internet trolls, an absolute viper den weaponized against U.S. democracy—but since journalists still use it as their primary meeting place, he’s kind of winning this one. That’s their choice, despite his obliteration of its utility and its trustworthiness.
“But he’s a GENIUS!”
Spoiled Wine, Moldy Cheese.
Trump and Musk seem destined to have found one another. Both are scammers who are absolutely worshiped by people who are prone to worshiping conmen. Some people are just wired to belong to cults, and the news media (Trump) and social media (Musk) have created these two particular master showmen into icons and idols for secular religious zealots who just have to have some illusionist to bow down to.
All of Trump’s businesses fail. He’s currently in the business of putting two businesses—Elon Musk, Inc. and United States of America, LLP—out of business.
All of Musk’s businesses sound visionary—and they get off the ground because of Musk’s incomprehensibly huge sums of money. On a much smaller scale, Elizabeth Holmes proved to all of us that a nifty-sounding Jetsons-era idea can generate a billion dollars in investments, even when its entire basis is nothing more than science fiction and a glorified Easy Bake Oven her investors believed was cookin’ up blood labs in the time it takes to microwave a bag of oily popcorn.
And like Holmes’s business, Musk’s businesses launch spectacularly—and then fall apart while people watch and point and gawk and say “coooooool. We almost made it to Mars!”
But Holmes’s fraud has sent her to prison. Musk’s fraud sent him to the White House—and it was necessary for him to get there because, according to that formerly-pesky set of rules called the United States Constitution, Musk is not eligible to run for U.S. president as a non-native-born citizen. No problem. He just conned his way in, suckling like a scrawny parasitic anglerfish dude onto the side of his big, mean lady.
Musk is running so many high-profile cons at once that it has to be eligible for the Guinness Book of World Records.
The man has convinced 1) the board of Tesla that he is dedicating his time to serving as CEO while; 2) convincing the board of SpaceX that he is dedicating his time to serving as CEO while; 3) convincing the board of Twitter/X that he is dedicating his time to serving as CTO while; 4) convincing the board of the Musk Foundation that he is dedicating his time to serving as its president while; 5) convincing people in red baseball caps that he is making the United States government more efficient by destroying public benefits they don’t realize they rely on.
Meanwhile, as Elon Musk supposedly leads at least six companies, a charitable foundation, and a federal agency full time (most of which are objectively nose-diving, by the way) and is invariably referred to as a ‘genius’ for his master con, this woman who effectively performed the functions of two full-time remote jobs was forced to resign from one and fined $25,000 for an ethics violation—as the District of Columbia government that had employed her claimed it is impossible for any person to effectively perform the functions of two high-responsibility jobs simultaneously. Hmm.
There is a world in which Elon Musk is not a genius because the public is too intelligent to understand that his primary talent is spinning plates while picking pockets. Alas, that is not this world. In this world, Elon Musk is a genius precisely because he is spinning plates while picking pockets.
And despite a lotta money, Elon has a LOOOOTTA weaknesses, don’t trip. It might even be that he plays himself out of the game, he’s so stretched thin—financially, mentally, and with all the drugs he’s carpet bombing his brain with, who knows.
https://lokiexcelsiorsmith.substack.com/p/a-god-complex-runs-the-gauntlet?r=fd4u4
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